Our subject today is one Robert PJ Day, aka Canadian Cynic. Some of you who've been in this game for a while remember Cynic from his now-defunct blog. More recently, he's begun tweeting at us Blogging Tories, trying valiantly but *always* failing to make a dent in our onslaught. For those who don't know Cynic's M.O., let me refer you to his most infamous post, where he told the grieving mother of a dead Canadian soldier to.....well, I'll let you read it for yourselves. At the time that he wrote that, and for a long time afterwards, Cynic blogged only under his pseudonym. So he wrote what he wrote with the full knowledge that he could do so under cover of anonymity.
I read what Cynic had written, and the other filthy things he wrote about conservatives. I began to wonder. How is it that this guy could get away with what he did? What was it that made him believe that he could go on forever without getting caught? Other than the fact that none of his targets, at that time, knew who he was? The answer, of course, is nothing. So long as he kept some of his real self out of the public eye, he could go on being as mean as he wanted.
So, I thought, why didn't conservatives try to find out who he was? Because they were too busy working themselves up into fits about what he wrote to try and figure out who was writing it. And, I reasoned, that was just the way he wanted it. So, seeing as how nobody else was doing what I wanted to do, I analyzed the Canadian Cynic blog. He had several years worth of drivel on it, and every so often he'd drop some weird hint about who he actually was. A reference to his height and weight here. A reference to Chapel Hill, North Carolina there. Boasts about his academic acheivements over here. Over there, a reveal that he was a Manitoba native. Slowly, slowly, the complete picture emerged.
I even began to notice some interesting patterns. Like how he adorned his blog with a picture of Brian Griffin from Family Guy. Brian is a white dog. And Cynic? Well, what's the Latin root of the word "dog"? Also, Brian likes to drink, and well, so does Cynic. Very very clever, sir! But, as it turned out, not clever enough to hide forever.
(No, Cynic, I wasn't the one who outed you. But me compiling your little hints sure helped narrow it down. And since you offered them willingly, you can't really blame me for being determined enough to find them, can you?)
Oh, but that's not all. Not by a long shot. For I have actually seen and met Robert PJ Day. (Not Canadian Cynic, you understand. Slight difference between the two.) He probably doesn't remember me, but I remember him.
Some time after he was outed, he advertised his presence, and I went with friends. Yes, that's right: I ponied up my own cash to sit and see who this guy really was.
And what did I find?
That "Canadian Cynic" is a persona made up by Robert PJ Day to scare us conservatives into hiding. This persona, such as it is, was created after Robert PJ Day, an ardent anti-creationist, got tired of watching scientists lose debates with creationists because the scientists were nice and conceded points, and the creationists put on a show and bent the rules. And so, when it came time for Robert PJ Day to debate a creationist by the name of Ian Taylor, then-Vice President of the Christian Scientist Association of Ontario, Robert PJ Day decided to do things a little differently. Instead of debating the merits of evolution vs. creationism, Day spent his time during the debate mocking his opponent's beliefs. And it was devastatingly effective. (Hmmm, mocking people's religious beliefs to win. Where have we seen that before?)
So, as Day explained to the audience that summer evening, it was a short leap from mocking Taylor's beliefs to mocking conservatives in general. Everything we believed was to be scrutinized for flaws and mocked, and we were supposed to flounder around hilariously trying to defend ourselves while Day/Cynic and his pals high-fived each other and laughed.
The experience was, to say the least, eye-opening. When I saw what a massive joke on us the whole thing was.....that Cynic was distracting us the way you distract a two-year old while the doctor gives them a needle.....well, the way forward became clear. If Cynic was laughing at us and trying to get a reaction, then we had to do the exact same thing. His teasing could not make us sputter or make us uncomfortable. As soon as we sputtered, we lost.
Hence, the blog you are reading right now. :)
Now, Cynic is free to challenge me on my version of events. That's just fine, because there *was* a video recording made of the proceedings that evening which could have resolved any discrepancy. I have proof that it was made. But because of a certain....how should I put this....intervention, it never saw the light of day.
Do you understand now, Cynic? Do you see what effect your intellectual masturbation is having? You're not driving us underground. You are creating more people like me. You're making the problem, such as you see it, worse. While Harper and Ford take the reins of power and Hudak breathes down McGuinty's neck, you are so obsessed with proving your superiority over us that you sit there all day long tweeting at us, trying to recapture that shining moment when you reduced Ian Taylor to a snivelling wreck.
Cynic. War Room Boss. "Nadine Lumley", whomever that really is. McGuinty. Justin Trudeau. Bob Rae. The people behind QP Comments. I look at each of these left-wing icons as puzzles to be solved. What drives them? How did they get to be the way they are? Why can't they see what we see? I do this because once they can be understood, they can be beaten. Their moves can be predicted. There will be no heroic last minute rescues like there was for McGuinty. There will just be Conservative dominance everywhere.
Harper understands this. When a weak spot opens up, he closes it immediately while always being on the lookout for his opponents' weak spots. He will wait and wait until the opportunity knocks, and then he will grab it. And his opponents, so far, are beaten every time.
And they must be beaten. For if any of them are allowed to be confident that their own weak spots will never be found and exploited, then they will keep on winning. And as long as they keep on winning, the Liberals will keep on hoping. Hoping that someday they will be able to rule this country unopposed again, accountable to no one, pushing past the objections of those who would oppose them on the grounds that their march to power is one and the same as the march of progress.
But even if there was no Harper, the outcome would be the same. Because our rise is the price that is always paid for a minority- them- forcing their agenda on the majority, us. When people get sick of being pulled forward against their will, there is a backlash.
I must confess that after all these years, I am not sure what drives Cynic/Day to be so over the top. I know he hates us conservatives. I get that. But few if any of the people who hate us will go to such lengths. I do know it has something to do with how we supposedly lie all the time. Maybe he thinks he is being truthful when he says what he says about us. Maybe other progressives wish they could be as truthful. :)
Well, Cynic and everyone else, you don't have to worry about me lying anytime soon. All my cards are on the table. They always have been. My motive is clear. It is to show you, and all your fellow travellers on the left, that your attempts to save everyone are in vain. That this is beyond you. This is a democracy, and you can't win the numbers game.
But more importantly, I'm doing this to show everyone on my side that once you and the people like you- McGuinty included- can be exposed for the tough-guy pretenders that you are and that you would have no power if not for the fear you inspire, then there is nothing stopping us from taking everything we want.
Stop being afraid, conservatives. Start making them afraid.
UPDATE: Uh oh. Canadian Cynic is maaaaaaad at me.
Don't worry, pal. I'm not going to tell people where to find you, because I don't know and I don't care. I wouldn't want to have to issue a retraction and apology like you did for getting an address wrong. Oops!
All I care about is that you and your pals don't think that you can say whatever you want without fear of an effective reprisal, as above. Once we have that understood, you can tweet till your fingers fall off.
By the way, moron, figuring out who I am is a lot easier than figuring out who you were. But hey, now *you* know what it feels like, huh?
UPDATE #2: I have deleted several comments that appeared here yesterday after consulting with a lawyer friend of mine on the grounds that they may have been defamatory.