Boom Boom Pow

By now you've heard all about the Rob Ford victory in Liberalville and how it's a hop skip and a jump from here to Majority-land for the PC Party of Ontario. The Toronto elites are committing mass suicide with lattes laced with toilet bowl cleanser. Yippee-ki-yay.

People are treating Ford's win like a joke that you laugh at, but you don't know why you laughed. No matter how conservative you are, some part of your brain is going, "This guy is mayor? Of Toronto?" today.

The best clowns can not only tell a joke well, but can explain what makes the joke funny without killing the joke. By explaining Ford's win in terms anyone can understand, this is what I will attempt to do today. Wish me luck.

I could use Friedrich Von Hayek to explain the phenonemon among voters, but nobody knows who that is, so let's use something just as intellectual: The Black Eyed Peas' "Boom Boom Pow."

I remember first hearing this song driving down Avenue Rd. in Toronto and getting stuck near Bloor due to the traffic caused by construction that has lasted for some years now.  I remember feeling annoyed with Toronto City Hall. (There's a weird synchronicity in that, or maybe it's because people are always annoyed with Toronto City Hall, Mayor Ford or no Mayor Ford.)

gotta get that boom boom BOOM
gotta get that boom boom BOOM

I wasn't sure at first if this was some sort of joke on *me*. Was something wrong with my radio? This was a hit song? "It's just the same words over and over again," I said. I switched off the radio, thinking I'd never hear the song again.

Of course, unless you lived under a rock during the summer of 2009, you couldn't get away from that song. It was repeated endlessly, everywhere you went. The record ended up breaking records, despite the fact that the song made absolutely no sense. We never figured out what the boom boom pow exactly was or why it was so desirable. DOESN'T MATTER. If you were thinking about why people loved this repetitive and silly song, you were so two thousand and late. Or maybe you were Glen Murray. Same thing.

Before "Boom Boom Pow", we had "Don't Phunk With My Heart" and "My Humps". It was important for the Peas to establish themselves over a period of several years as reliable hit-makers who consistently put out danceable jams with recognizable hook-y choruses before they built  up to "Boom Boom Pow." You might say they crafted a message that resonated with people.

So we have a song that was simple and repetitive, didn't bother with details, was superpromoted, and followed in the footsteps of other similar hits. Sound familiar yet?

gotta stop that gravy TRAIN
gotta stop that gravy TRAIN.......

..........PEEEEEOPLE IN THE PLAYYEEEAAAAACCE......IF YA WANNA GET DOWWW-OWWWWN......

*chorus of boos*

OK, OK. You get the picture.

The reason why Rob Ford is Mayor of Toronto has very little to do with Rob Ford and has everything to do with his campaign having beats so big they were steppin' on leprechauns. Tim Hudak will have to demonstrate in a similar fashion that he's on that HD Flat with 808's that boom boom in your town, and make the case that Dalton McGuinty is stuck on lo-fi stupid 8-bit.