Venom and Vitriol

My taxfighting buddy Justin Samlal, who is running (while his three opponents could charitably be described as walking) to become the next Councillor in London's Ward 7, asked me this past weekend about the whole "clown" thing I`ve got going on during his opening sign blitz, which, I`m pleased to report, ended when we ran out of rebar for the signs but definitely not sign locations.

"Clowns are scary," he said. "Why do you like them?" (Sorry if I just lost you the clown vote, Justin. :P)

To some people, clowns are scary. To some people, conservatives are scary. But really, clowns are just trying to make people laugh, and conservatives are just trying to make people self-satisfied and self-sufficient.

A clown, as this very 90`s website tries to convey, "exaggerates everything about himself, his pants, shoes, collars, ears, and wig are bigger, wider, or baggier than is usual." That white makeup and the red nose and lips that gives everyone the shivers is meant to be an exaggeration of the human face.

The clown, through his exaggerated antics, is trying to show man's true colours. He brings things we wouldn't normally talk about out into the open. Does the truth scare you, or does it make you smile? :)

We know how Jim Coyle, Star columnist and Liberal cheerleader extraordinaire (kind of redundant to be saying that), feels about the truth being told by members of the PC Party of Ontario. Coyle sniffs that we shouldn't be pointing out the unfortunate implications of a McGuinty government plan to introduce cell phones into classrooms, or suggest that the Premier is asking people to wash their clothes in the middle of the night when he decides people need to do laundry at off-peak hours.

Of course, when Liberals get into hot water (or maybe milk, all the better to go with cookies), Coyle is quick to rush to their defence.

Others have pointed out how Jim is OK with Liberals clowning around, but not conservatives. My favourite example is an oldie but goodie- back in the Mike Harris days, some local "artists" put together a calendar comparing the Common Sense Revolution-era PC's to medieval torturers. If you Control-F your way down that page, you'll find an approving quote from Jimmy, who thought the calendars would "make you laugh- if they don't make you cry."

Jim's own paper reported the news today that the Liberals backed down on opening an unpopular gas powered plant in Oakville rather than stand up to a maverick MPP that wanted to keep his own seat next year. If I pointed out the obvious joke about how Dalton was trying to "avoid a stink" by shutting down a gas plant, would that be  "playing Ontarians as idiots"?

What if I pointed out how Coyle's suggestion in today's missive that Christine Elliott isn't capable of writing her own speeches reminds me of his dismissive characterization of Christine as a "nice church lady" in an article he wrote during the PC leadership race last year (one he apologized to Elliott for personally, an apology he doesn't seem to have meant?) Who's really playing people for idiots, Mr. Coyle?

Professional Liberals like Coyle are afraid of the unknown....of things we don't talk about in polite society. Of the uncomfortable but necessary places where real humour, and conservative truths, come from. 

And that's the biggest joke of them all.