Thursday, April 19, 2012

Sid's Sad Saga

It seems like only a short while ago that Dalton McGuinty and Ontario Federation of Labour rageaholic Sid Ryan-  a man who makes the Incredible Hulk look like Mr. Spock-were the best of BFF's. When Dalton decided one fine day to make pharmacists into the enemy, for example, he knew he could count on his hotheaded buddy Psycho Sid to provide well thought-out supportive messaging.

And when Sid, his considerable flaws notwithstanding, proved that he was willing to support the McGuinty message of the day, he was rewarded by getting his name on Liberal literature during the last election. Now while rewarding a known agitator in this way would seem, on the face of it, to be a colossally boneheaded move that agitated many individuals of the Hebrew persuasion in the Toronto riding of St. Paul's, the truth is that anybody, no matter how worthless of a human being they may be, can be redeemed by accepting the Word of Dalton into their hearts. Which is probably why Sid's slight was forgiven and the urbane voters of St. Paul's re-elected their fop of an MPP, Dr. Eric Hoskins, with an increased plurality.

Ah, but the prodigal Sid forgot that sometimes Dalton giveth and that he sometimes taketh away. For now "Sid from Oshawa" is the butt of Liberal jokes, and as NDP leader Andrea Horwath prepares to assume the position in advance of this budget vote, poor Sid is left to cry fruitlessly on the Queen's Park lawn with whichever OFL leftovers he can scrape together for an upcoming "Day of Action".

Umm....a "Day of Action" that lasts only two hours? Look, Sid, I know your friends aren't the most industrious of people, but a two-hour workday is really pushing it.

This pathetic fallacy reminds me of another recent fall from grace- that of feminist blogger Fern Hill, who fell in with the wrong crowd and ran afoul of the War Room Boss, and the Ontario Liberals, as a result.

I recall a time when Ms. Hill took exception to me pointing out how she was obviously thrilled to have been selected by the Liberal War Room to participate in their booga-booga campaign of yesteryear aimed at demonizing Hudak as a woman hater. Well, Ms. Hill- if I may quote a certain prominent conservative woman- "How's that workin' out for ya?"

There but for the grace of Dalton go all of us. For today's Ontario is a jumbled mass of groups climbing over themselves to sell whatever honour they have so that His Lordship may look favourably upon them. Those who have Dalton's favour prosper; those who displease him are cast down.

Cast down like the Liberal MPP's who bailed before the last election and the MPP's who were defeated by outsiders and disavowed, an untold number of staffers and supplicants who got handed pink slips, the federal Liberals in their entirety, the collection of "interest groups" who found out with this budget that they are just as disposable as anyone else after they have outlived their electoral usefulness, and most notably, Dalton's former #2 man, George Smitherman.

Every Ontarian knows that to be censured by Dalton is not just a career-limiting move; it is a sign that you have sinned, and that Dalton will reply, "I tell you, I know you not whence ye are; depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity."

And all these sinners will be back, looking for a chance to get into the boss man's good graces next time around.

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