Monday, December 6, 2010

Dalton McGuinty's PFZ (Premier Fouls Up Zone)

For the past week, Dalton and his gang of malcontent miscreants have been very whiny about the opposition's supposed lack of an energy plan. While it's not clear if the McPremier has an energy plan of his own in the first place, what is clear is that he told his staff to take the day off from doing any actual work and start campaigning between elections to try and convince people that being bribed with their own money is a good thing.

Now, I'm not paid to think up clever acronyms like "PFZ" all day, but I question the logic of asking the opposition to do your job for you when you are in government.

I'm not the only one questioning that logic, either. I was at the St. Paul's annual Senior's Steakhouse dinner a few days ago, with special guest John Tory, and let me tell you that even Mr. Tory is cracking on Dalton's lack of direction these days. He commented that the Premier is looking tired and unfocused, and unprepared for the amount of voter anger that's been thrown his way. In other words, the puppet's strings are getting frayed. For Liberals watching this space, that means that the guy who you rely on to say, "Boy, I wish more Conservatives were like that guy" is now saying your leader has run out of gas.

Now here comes fresh information from the Auditor General that proves that Dalton is in a PFZ of his own, showing that the Municipal Property Assessment Corporation is screwing Ontarians left and right (but mostly left, of course), and the McPremier's oft-touted numbers on ER wait times are, to be polite, balderdash.

Even worse, the report says the Education Premier isn't sure if the money he's throwing at schools to keep them safe is actually effective! What a bizarre state of affairs: the government wants the opposition to do the government's job, at the same time that the government is doing the opposition's job for them!

Then there's the hilariously wasteful expenses that tend to find their way into attack ads. The Municipal Property Assessment Corporation spent $1,700 on golf clubs and video game consoles? I know Dalton's government is out of touch, but come on guys, Wii Golf has been out for years! Couldn't you have just doubled up and forgot about the golf clubs? And you could have just installed the Wiis in your offices, closed the doors, and made it look like you were working!

Now, because we're in the business of differentiating Tim Hudak from the increasingly unfocused Dalton, I hereby dub the McPremier's new-found state of mind the "Premier F**ks Up Zone", or, to be polite once again, the "Premier Fouls Up Zone." Perhaps Mr. Tory can use the more polite version on the radio?

Hey I know....let's make a silly graphic making fun of Dalton being in a PFZ. Better yet, let's put it on a button!

See? Dalton McGuinty's in a PFZ because it says so on a graphic of a hypothetical button.

Gee, I wonder if Dalton's spin assassins will target the Auditor General the way they targeted the Ombudsman?

What's that? You still want to know what Hudak's plan is? Right now, Hudak's plan is to let Dalton McGuinty self-destruct.

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