Friday, February 20, 2015

We (Unfortunately) Hold These Truths To Be Self Evident

Our first Prime Minister, Sir John A. Macdonald, was a drunk. It's an established fact that we're somehow reluctant to talk about, because we're Canadians and it's embarrassing.

I don't know why we find it embarrassing, though, because Sir John A. himself sure didn't. Like every great Canadian leader, he cut through the veil of keeping-up-appearances crap that blankets this country like a fog, and informed the crowd that they would rather have John A. drunk than George Brown sober, and shortly after that they found out that that's what they did want.

John A. was a Conservative, but he was one of those old school conservatives who didn't care for the Americans too much, and since then our establishment has been doing everything it can to elect and re-elect Liberal governments and their ideological fellow-travellers who will keep the government dollars flowing to all the right people. Given half a chance, no matter how corrupt the governing party is, they will gleefully participate in the stomping of an opposition leader or the outright ousting of a Prime Minister or Premier that's veered too far off the rails.

They would rather have corrupt Liberals than honest Conservatives, who are always somehow found out to not be honest Conservatives because they made some error or typo or were not ideologically consistent 10 years ago or said something that annoyed somebody.

When the Toronto Star, then, writes editorials saying that Justin Trudeau is running out of second chances and that Kathleen's Wynne's assistant-thingy needs to step down over the latest scandal or whatever, Conservatives should not be putting up their feet and chillaxing. The Toronto Star is doing this to ease their mightily overworked consciences. Their columnist says Trudeau is running out of second chances, which means he still has a few, or a lot.

Nor should they be doing fist pumps when Michael Colle is a crankypants about Eve Adams, because Michael Colle's utility to the provincial Liberals is that he holds a seat in midtown Toronto, and if he didn't have that seat he wouldn't be able to get his phone calls returned. Until Trudeau and Wynne are dead-which is to say, defeated on election day and having resigned, they are not dead.

I get it. It's nice to think that you will get a fair shake and that all sins are equal even though they're Liberals and you're not. But that isn't the case, my friends. You know it and I know it.

Four elections in which the PCs had it in the bag and then really really didn't for one reason or another are proof enough of that, or maybe we could recall the many, many times where the appointed guardians of the public trust, be they B.C. Liberals, PC Party of Alberta, or Manitoba NDP- or, for the sake of consistency, the Quebec Liberals, who had been found guilty of corruption- were all but dead and then miraculously came back to life because suddenly some errors mattered more than others.

You think Harper has the next election won? You think Canadians are solidly behind the mission against ISIS? You'd better pray, for all the right reasons as well as the wrong ones, that they don't capture a Canadian soldier and broadcast the execution, because as soon as that happens all the air is going out of that balloon very very quickly.

You think Harper is solid on the economy and Joe Oliver is a hero for slaying the deficit? You'd better hope, when the budget comes down, that there are no hidden holes, because the Star, for all their protestations about Trudeau, will find it and go full-on Crazy Town for weeks about it.

Think Wynne's in hot water over this Sudbury sleaze? Please. They won the riding, and there won't be any byelections for a while, and if it gets too loud all she has to do is ask for another meeting with Stephen Harper or fret publicly about how she hopes he doesn't hate Ontario. If she's really pissed she'll mention something about Deb Hutton getting a payout, or Ipperwash, or Walkerton, or SOMETHING ELSE THAT HAPPENED DECADES AGO.

Down south and worldwide, the big story is always, "Look at the conservative doing something stupid" instead of a focus on how Obama is ruining things or how a certain religion does, unfortunately, play a disproportionate role in terrorism. But even if they were putting a focus on that stuff, that's no reason to forget about the Crusades! Or slavery! That was a thing!

Liberal bias is a fact, not a theory, and the proof is in which balls everyone lets go by, not which ones they hit. Every conservative worth a second thought knows that the deck is stacked against them, and yet, nobody on the right side of the aisle can get it through their heads that it is never time to let it all hang out. The Republicans won midterm elections for the House and the Senate? The Quebec Liberals are embracing austerity? Harper won a majority? Ford's Mayor of Toronto? Big woopity doo, doesn't matter. Progressives will shrug it right off and come right back, because they want all of the marbles and we're content with just some.

Trudeau should not even be in the picture at this point. He should never have come close to the picture. He is everything the left hates: a white, privileged, cisgendered wealthy male with good looks and an unhealthy relationship with power and control. He's a less interesting version of Christian Grey, but you had best believe that the progressives are going to show up for him on E Day in significant numbers no matter what- the only question is, will those numbers be significant enough?

I hate to say it, but it looks like us independent, rebel-minded conservatives are going to have to become unthinking robots ourselves, unquestioningly obeying those above us, if we are ever going to really change the culture and stop the endless advance of progressivism into our lives.

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